My Life as a Teenage Squid

In general, not a fan. NOT because the only valentine I got was from my dad, but just in concept, it’s kind of stupid. Couples should be celebrating their union all the time, not just on this one random day in the middle of February. I don’t understand why Valentine’s Day becomes a day of reconciliation for mistakes and dick-moves— problems that go unresolved just for the sake of “not ruining the mood”. It’s not that I think couples shouldn’t be celebrating their relationship, but they have their anniversary for that. And if once a year isn’t good enough, then there’s month-a-versaries and week-a-verseries. But having so many couples show their love all on one day is just fake, and pretty overwhelming. 

Single-awareness day is also pretty much bullshit. If one squid can live 364 days of the year feeling absolutely fine about being single, then I don’t understand how a squid can act so butthurt on Valentine’s Day. There are countless benefits to being single, and squids shouldn’t feel pressured to be in a relationship on this one day of the year.

However, if a squid does genuinely want to be taken off the market, my psych class has taught me a few things about social psych and how males and females flirt with each other: 

Females:

• Turn tentacle(s) upwards to appear vulnerable
• Turn mantle to one side 
• Sway hips and tentacles side-to-side, like Pearl in Finding Nemo. 
• Try to reduce your waist-to-hip ratio as much as possible; but not too much, or else you’ll just have a big butt. 

Males:

• Puff out chest
• Spread out tentacles
• Walk with “swag”
• Laugh really loud. 

All and all, though, today wasn’t that bad. I had a good time watching and listening to Singing Valentine’s in class and in classes next door, even though I didn’t receive any. After school, I went grocery shopping with T-Squid. I also had a little Valentine’s Day tea at Starbucks with Hubby, which was a lot of fun, and I received a joke valentine, but still funny and sweet, from my friend in Germany. 

barrels-of-oats:

squid girl and her sad/happy posts. I could never fail to like them.

Oh curse this unfortunate hand o’ fate. Probably going for another eventless weekend. I don’t think I’ve hung out with anyone since New Years. Except I had lunch with T-Squid on Wednesday, and we ate fish. I’m not sure if that’s cannibalism or not. The saddest thing is that I’m not even grounded or anything, I just have no where to go! I’ve been watching oodles of Mad Men, but I’m nearing the end of the fourth season on Netflix. After that, I don’t know what I’ll do. I’ve just been practicing the piano a lot, and I’m thinking about learning a rendition of some K-Pop song. Just to put something new into the current mix of Bach, Beethoven, Chopin and Ravel. No one is responding to my texts, except Squidnick, who is the one telling me to learn the K-Pop song on the piano, or “derpiano” as he calls it, because I’m a derp, apparently. I suppose the only comfort about my predicament is that if I’m not doing anything, chances are my two other friends aren’t really doing anything either. And we should be hanging out, and there’s nothing preventing us, but we’re all just too lazy to call each other. But besides being a sad, lonely, slightly pathetic and possibly cannibalistic squid, I got a twitter. 

I have to go take out my contacts now, they’re so dry, and I have to keep blinking every 5 seconds. 

I just had lunch with T-Squid at Captain Marden’s. I ate a sandwich with fried fish inside. Is that, like, okay?